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View Full Version : When is Divorce OK?



krispy
06-16-2004, 02:26 PM
I know what the bible says about divorce...
but I was wondering what you guys thought!

jenfrog81
06-16-2004, 02:28 PM
I think it is okay if the person or persons are being abuse or one cheated .

BigGunz
06-16-2004, 08:35 PM
divorce is ok when every option has been done to keep the marriage alive!...if all fails it is ok...I mean who wants to live with someone you cannot stand the sight of?

Rhiannon
06-21-2004, 08:46 AM
Here is a good Christian perspective on US divorce rates.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm

FallenAngel
09-01-2004, 11:12 PM
I know what the bible says about divorce...
but I was wondering what you guys thought!The Bible states the only grounds of divorce is "Adultery"

Gearldean
09-01-2004, 11:37 PM
I know what the bible says about divorce...
but I was wondering what you guys thought!The Bible states the only grounds of divorce is "Adultery"
This is something I have a hard time accepting. While adultery is unacceptable to me, so is cruelty, whether it be mental or physical. I cannot believe that it is acceptable to God, either.

CuriousGal
09-02-2004, 12:11 AM
I know a person who was married and found out that his/her spouse had committed adultery. This person is a very strong Christian and while he/she had a hard time accepting what had happened, he/she embarked on a journey, exploring the Bible in order to find out IF divorce is accepted at all in the Bible. You see, this person took his/her vows extremely seriously and the thought of divorce was unacceptable to him/her but he/she knew that the marriage was over and had to reconcile that with his/her faith. Adultery is an acceptable reason for dissolving a marriage based on what this person found out through working with a Bible scholar. I can't speak to the cruelty based on the Bible. I haven't researched that and I would rather not assume what God would think about that even though I figure that He wouldn't accept that. If I were ever in that position, I would do as my friend did. I would consult the Bible and a Christian whom I trust to help me figure out what I should do. Most importantly? I will know my future husband well enough to make a good choice in marrying him. I know that some people change on a dime once married and nobody can anticipate that. I pray for those who are faced with that situation because it's simply NOT right. Most of us, however, know what we're getting into. I've always advised ladies to know what they're getting into and throw away any delusions of changing the fellow. We are who we are. Marriage is NOT going to change us.

CG

Julie
09-02-2004, 07:00 AM
Wait... you said you know some people change on a dime when married, and then later you say that marriage doesn't change you.

No one changes on a dime. The problem is that old saying about being blinded by love. Some people refuse to see the signs of what the future holds when they are given to them.... and they are ALWAYS given to them.

As for when I think divorce is ok? It is never ok, especially if children are involved, but sometimes it is still the best choice in a bad situation. I know people who have overcome great diversities and problems in a marriage, and I know people who have divorced over things that, to me, were just things you should work out. Divorce should be a last choice after trying every other avenue. The problem with it many times is that both people have to be willing to try. Even though the Bible may give an out for adultery, it doesn't mean you have to get a divorce because of that. Do they have children? Is the husband willing to go to counseling or is he uninterested in trying to save the marriage? And most of all, does she really want to try to work on this, or is she wanting out. Every situation is different and there should be no pat answers.

Anonymous
09-02-2004, 07:24 AM
It takes two people working equally 24/7 to make a marriage work. When one does not pull his/her share of the load, resentment will rear its ugly head sooner or later. I believe, in this case, divorce is inevitable.

Miss Mally
09-02-2004, 08:16 AM
I think you are wrong on this one Lamb. Sometimes, due to illness, due to heartache or just personality issues....people can't give a 100%. In fact no one can give 100% all the time, and no two people can equally give 50% each all the time, carry their fair share of the burden. When people have this expectation of the other....then resentment rears its ugly heard.

My opinion on that matter, is that when one can't put forth their proper percetn, the other loves enough to carry that burden for the spouse, without resentment, but with appreciation for having the chance to do that for the one they love. And whether it be years down the road, or months, the other spouse doing the same thing, when things get hard or rough.

As far as grounds for marriage, God allowed men to give wives a write of divorce, Jesus tells us that it is wrong to do except in the cases of adultry, but that if you do get divorced for other reasons besides adultry, that you should not remarry.

Anonymous
09-02-2004, 08:39 AM
divorce is ok when every option has been done to keep the marriage alive!...if all fails it is ok...I mean who wants to live with someone you cannot stand the sight of?

You shouldn't have married the person in the first place.

june
09-02-2004, 08:40 AM
Divorce is ok, remarriage is not acceptable. Or my interpretation of the Bible is that once married always married.

Anonymous
09-02-2004, 08:47 AM
Im a divorcee and so is my husband, another words we both have been married once before.

Both of our marriages ended cause the other spouse commited adultery.
My ex husband also commiited abuse, mental and physical. NO I did not stick around He tried to hit me and That is all it took one swing and he missed but I didn't. And I left. I know God has forgiven me for divorcing. I had to do what was right for me and my life.
I remarried six months later and We will be married for 6 years this
September 26, 2004. And we are very happy. :) :) :)

There is a soul mate for everyone. You just have to trust God and he will show you the way. He did for us. :)

JET
09-02-2004, 01:15 PM
The quote "you should always know a person "well enough" before you get married to know what that person is like". That is a nice statement and there is a lot of good advice here BUT.........I will tell you that there are some people who are wonderful liars and con-artists!!!! There are people who are great "pretenders" as they live a lie. These people are sick! It is like two people living inside one body.

I know what I am saying. Our family has learned and experienced this situation. These sick people take advantage of a spouse and even their employers!!

Anonymous
09-02-2004, 02:31 PM
I think you are wrong on this one Lamb. Sometimes, due to illness, due to heartache or just personality issues....people can't give a 100%. In fact no one can give 100% all the time, and no two people can equally give 50% each all the time, carry their fair share of the burden. When people have this expectation of the other....then resentment rears its ugly heard.

My opinion on that matter, is that when one can't put forth their proper percetn, the other loves enough to carry that burden for the spouse, without resentment, but with appreciation for having the chance to do that for the one they love. And whether it be years down the road, or months, the other spouse doing the same thing, when things get hard or rough.

As far as grounds for marriage, God allowed men to give wives a write of divorce, Jesus tells us that it is wrong to do except in the cases of adultry, but that if you do get divorced for other reasons besides adultry, that you should not remarry.

Your quote is quite true, Mally. You took my word "work" literally. It was not meant to be. Of course, if one partner is ill, the other will take on what load is required of them. I was referring to the husband who won't support the household or the wife who won't do the housework. I was referring to the mate who won't be loyal or supportive in a crisis. I was referring to the mate who won't be respectful or considerate. Please note that I said "WON'T". I do admit that a marriage with each partner giving 50% even MOST of the time is a rare thing. The idea which I was trying to convey is that this is what is takes to create a good marriage. :wink:

Miss Mally
09-02-2004, 02:40 PM
lol....I see what you mean now lamb. and agree with what you mean about the not doing the work...because of being lazy or just a poor excuse for a spouse.

Julie
09-02-2004, 05:45 PM
Now let's not genderize the work load. I don't cook much, husband doesn't mow the lawn much. Works for us. ;)

Anonymous
09-03-2004, 07:15 AM
Now let's not genderize the work load. I don't cook much, husband doesn't mow the lawn much. Works for us. ;)


So long as it is agreeable with both parties, I think that is great! :D I really don't genderize. Every couple probably sorts out the work load to suit themselves. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! :wink:

Miss Mally
09-03-2004, 07:25 AM
oh i genderize....taking out the Trash is a man's job!!!!!!

Julie
09-03-2004, 09:49 AM
I take the trash out to the container, but husband usually drags it out to the street (not always though). One reason I take out trash and mow is because no one else does it as often as I want it done. I prefer to do it than to ask someone else to. Now when the boys were home.. that was a different story... sometimes I miss those boys ;)

Anonymous
09-03-2004, 10:19 AM
I take it out and to the curb. Plus if need be i mow the grass. do the tree triming. Heck I wuld rather do any outside activity any day than inside. i hate to clean house. i would rahter pay someone, than do the dishes, and i have a dishwasher.

FallenAngel
09-03-2004, 04:23 PM
Divorce is ok, remarriage is not acceptable. Or my interpretation of the Bible is that once married always married.Sorta like once saved always saved? Not !!

Believer
09-03-2004, 10:25 PM
Fallen, I have a new concept for you....perhaps you've heard of it...its called GRACE.

Another news flash for you....Salvation cannot be earned, it is a free gift.